What so many of us relish at this point in our lives sometimes is just a bit of piece and quiet to reflect, meditate, and maybe get through some emails, without interruption (or how about even just being able to go to the bathroom without having your name called 3 times?). I believe I have mentioned before, that the night of chemo I rarely sleep. The steroids they give you the day of chemo kind of wire you the night of. So once again, I have been up since midnight. I could be annoyed, OR I could be thankful that I'm being given a gift of 5 or 6 hours to do things without interruption. This being said, somehow I manage to get through Saturdays quite well, but do need to get to sleep at a much earlier hour Saturday night. Another gift of Grace, being able to go to sleep without helping with the bed time chaos that unravels between the hours of 6 & 8 p.m.
Today was a "heavy" chemo. I am thankful to my friend Julie who took me (and prayed with me today) and to my neighbor and friend Sue, who brought me home today! Again my blood counts were great and my CA125 (blood tumor marker) has been base lining (great news) for the last 5 weeks. I asked if I can skip the last round of chemo as I have been base lining for a while now and she looked at me like I had 3 heads. A very quick "Absolutely not, you are a healthy young individual who needs to finish her round!" At least I tried!
I was talking to a long time friend who still lives in Utah. As she hasn't seen me through all of this, we were talking about how I look. It is funny and a joke was made between me and one of my neighbors who is Jewish. I think it is well understood that the Mediterraneans', Jewish people and possible most Middle Easterners are the hairiest people on the planet. I told my friends even chemotherapy can't get rid of the hair on my arms, my eyelashes (of yet) and the uni brow that I have had since I was 12!!!! They are holding strong! The hair I have on my head is also still growing slowly. I will have to take a picture of (baldy) me and post it for those of you far away.
I don't feel I can talk about what unraveled last Friday at Sandy Hook. I get such a pit in my stomach. I have only deep appreciation and gratitude to the first responders on the scene. I also am incredibly grateful to the attentive changes that are being made to our school AND to all the parents who have been manning the front doors at our school this week as a first line of protection to only allowing known visitors in.
I'll close with this beautiful video that my sister found. She is a dog lover like many of the people on this blog listing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JA8VJh0UJtg&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Merry Christmas to all of you celebrating. I feel so incredibly grateful for the gift of His birth which has carried me through this whole process.
Enjoy your vacation whether you are going away for the break or staying home.
Much love and warm wishes to you all!
Love,
Renee
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Saturday, December 1, 2012
What can I say? The blessings continue....
I do begin writing this with slightly heavy heart knowing that a beautiful woman, Pam, from our church, a young mother of three, is on hospice right now. She has attempted the fight against the return of cancer for the last two years, but her healing is going to come in a different form. As you read this, please say a prayer for Pam and her family as they seek healing and peace, not only for her, but for themselves. I thank God, that the Prince of Peace has come, and we will be celebrating His birth this month, but that He will come again to bring Peace to everyone.
As for me...where to begin? So many things to adjust to. I can now fully look in the mirror and truly embrace what I see with my "bald" head. It really isn't that bald, hair is growing, but compared to what I had it was enough to have my head "shaved". My neck isn't used to being so bare though; so I'm almost always cold. I think Nick may have a small stroke when he gets the heating bill for this month. Although I have been wrapping myself up in an amazingly plush robe that one of my villagers, Andrea's mom sent from Utah. Thank you Mrs. Liapis for this robe that I do wear pretty constantly now to keep my neck warm!
As for the kids, they much prefer seeing me bald as opposed to the wig on. Although I get many compliments on the wig, my kids prefer to see me for who I am right now. A HUGE relief knowing that I can walk around comfortably, with nothing on my head, and all they see is "mommy". They can look past it all and still see the person they need to see. That is why the Bible says how easy it is for children to enter the Kingdom of God. They look past everything on the outside, and just see who is on the inside.
So much to touch on this week. I think I have to begin with one "villager" at a time. Before all of this happened, I VERY RARELY made the time during the day while Anna and James were at school/pre-school to have lunch/coffee with a friend. What was I thinking? I always busied myself with the gym, shopping, cleaning, etc. How could I not make the time to connect with a friend for even 45 minutes? So much comes from meeting up with a friend to just talk...not plan anything, just talk. This week, I met with a friend who has children also with special needs. It is always so important to talk about things to try and get it all into perspective. It is hard when we isolate ourselves sometimes. So to everyone out there, please make the time to connect with a friend for lunch, coffee, whatever. So much healing comes of it!
Now it is time for a picture break. This week, another of my "villager" angels, Susan, brought over an amazing gift. She has such a talent for quilting. She made this BEAUTIFUL quilt for me below with the ovarian cancer survivor ribbon in the middle of it. (And yes, as soon as I laid out the quilt on my bed, Andrew jumped up and wanted to twirl himself up in it!) Now I wake up every morning, see the quilt on my bed and am reminded how much love and support I am receiving during this time. From the bottom of my heart Susan, thank you for this. I do feel somewhat guilty though keeping this for myself. It is so beautiful, I think it should be on display somewhere at Dana Farber!
To my two food deliverers this week, Sofia who made a lentil soup out for fresh Cretan olive oil, thank you! Anna's exact words after her first spoonful was "This is DELICIOUS!" and to Moe and her awesome cabbage soup...both stomach and heartwarming..we loved it. Also to the unexpected delivery from Vivian. Once again, just by coming over with some delicious leftovers, we were able to break bread together and share what is going on. All of this is so incredibly helpful and healing for me. Many people who know me and see me, think that I look like I always have, just bald! Although chemo is tiring, and nauseating, I feel so good, and I KNOW that has everything to do with "my village". I can only HOPE that one day I will be able to return all of the generosity that is coming my way.
To all of the people who send "checking in on me" emails, and to all of the cards I receive in the mail. I LOVE receiving them..knowing that you are still thinking and praying for me and the family. THANK YOU!!!! My heart could not be any more grateful.
This past week, was my "heavy" chemo week. I asked the docs for different drugs for the nausea as the Zofran/Compazine combination helped, but only so much. They offered me something else in my IV this week and Emend for 3 days after, which has helped more for sure. The slight nausea remains, but I am better than I was. I received my chemo on Thursday this week, so that I could attend an educational conference on Friday and today (Saturday) about educating kids with Down syndrome. I have been looking forward for years, to have this specific panel of speakers come to New England to talk to Anna's team at school. They are the premier researchers from the UK for educating kids with DS. So I knew I needed to make it through the conference. Thank you also to all of you who have been driving me to and from the conference (as I can't drive because of the meds I'm on). Thank you and thank you again!
My "chemo buddies" for the week, were some dear friends Danae and Greg. I must say to all of you, please don't be nervous for me on chemo days, I actually do okay! The worst part of chemo days is getting the IV which now, I am getting used to, and only takes 20 seconds (maybe 10 seconds even!), and then being super tired when I get home. But with my new sitters in place, I can go upstairs and lie down for a while, so I'm okay. I don't want any of you losing sleep the night before you come to get me. Really, it's okay. I did have a friend ask if the chemo "hurst or burns" while it is going in, and the answer is definitely no. It feels just like the saline drip. Truly, I actually enjoy my chemo days because I do get to sit with friends and talk. It may sound crazy but I love catching up with all of you!
I feel like this is a long enough enough blog. I will end it with another picture of me with my wig on. Not a great picture (the coloring is way off) but at least you get an idea of what I look like with my new do!
By the way, this picture was taken on Thanksgiving, when our dear friends, the Photopoulos family, (whom the greater Vekiarides family owes a debt of gratitude to for their continued support with Nick's parents, my immediate family etc.), brought over a whole Thanksgiving meal to us so that I didn't have to do anything except pick up the house and set the table. THANK YOU Mary, Cornelia and Demetri for that!
As for me...where to begin? So many things to adjust to. I can now fully look in the mirror and truly embrace what I see with my "bald" head. It really isn't that bald, hair is growing, but compared to what I had it was enough to have my head "shaved". My neck isn't used to being so bare though; so I'm almost always cold. I think Nick may have a small stroke when he gets the heating bill for this month. Although I have been wrapping myself up in an amazingly plush robe that one of my villagers, Andrea's mom sent from Utah. Thank you Mrs. Liapis for this robe that I do wear pretty constantly now to keep my neck warm!
As for the kids, they much prefer seeing me bald as opposed to the wig on. Although I get many compliments on the wig, my kids prefer to see me for who I am right now. A HUGE relief knowing that I can walk around comfortably, with nothing on my head, and all they see is "mommy". They can look past it all and still see the person they need to see. That is why the Bible says how easy it is for children to enter the Kingdom of God. They look past everything on the outside, and just see who is on the inside.
So much to touch on this week. I think I have to begin with one "villager" at a time. Before all of this happened, I VERY RARELY made the time during the day while Anna and James were at school/pre-school to have lunch/coffee with a friend. What was I thinking? I always busied myself with the gym, shopping, cleaning, etc. How could I not make the time to connect with a friend for even 45 minutes? So much comes from meeting up with a friend to just talk...not plan anything, just talk. This week, I met with a friend who has children also with special needs. It is always so important to talk about things to try and get it all into perspective. It is hard when we isolate ourselves sometimes. So to everyone out there, please make the time to connect with a friend for lunch, coffee, whatever. So much healing comes of it!
To my two food deliverers this week, Sofia who made a lentil soup out for fresh Cretan olive oil, thank you! Anna's exact words after her first spoonful was "This is DELICIOUS!" and to Moe and her awesome cabbage soup...both stomach and heartwarming..we loved it. Also to the unexpected delivery from Vivian. Once again, just by coming over with some delicious leftovers, we were able to break bread together and share what is going on. All of this is so incredibly helpful and healing for me. Many people who know me and see me, think that I look like I always have, just bald! Although chemo is tiring, and nauseating, I feel so good, and I KNOW that has everything to do with "my village". I can only HOPE that one day I will be able to return all of the generosity that is coming my way.
To all of the people who send "checking in on me" emails, and to all of the cards I receive in the mail. I LOVE receiving them..knowing that you are still thinking and praying for me and the family. THANK YOU!!!! My heart could not be any more grateful.
This past week, was my "heavy" chemo week. I asked the docs for different drugs for the nausea as the Zofran/Compazine combination helped, but only so much. They offered me something else in my IV this week and Emend for 3 days after, which has helped more for sure. The slight nausea remains, but I am better than I was. I received my chemo on Thursday this week, so that I could attend an educational conference on Friday and today (Saturday) about educating kids with Down syndrome. I have been looking forward for years, to have this specific panel of speakers come to New England to talk to Anna's team at school. They are the premier researchers from the UK for educating kids with DS. So I knew I needed to make it through the conference. Thank you also to all of you who have been driving me to and from the conference (as I can't drive because of the meds I'm on). Thank you and thank you again!
My "chemo buddies" for the week, were some dear friends Danae and Greg. I must say to all of you, please don't be nervous for me on chemo days, I actually do okay! The worst part of chemo days is getting the IV which now, I am getting used to, and only takes 20 seconds (maybe 10 seconds even!), and then being super tired when I get home. But with my new sitters in place, I can go upstairs and lie down for a while, so I'm okay. I don't want any of you losing sleep the night before you come to get me. Really, it's okay. I did have a friend ask if the chemo "hurst or burns" while it is going in, and the answer is definitely no. It feels just like the saline drip. Truly, I actually enjoy my chemo days because I do get to sit with friends and talk. It may sound crazy but I love catching up with all of you!
I feel like this is a long enough enough blog. I will end it with another picture of me with my wig on. Not a great picture (the coloring is way off) but at least you get an idea of what I look like with my new do!
Monday, November 19, 2012
Adjusting to my new look!
As the trees are shedding their final layer of leaves, so did my hair. Last Monday I realized it was time to go get my new look. As the hairdresser shaved my head, I sat talking to my friend Lia who graciously dropped all of her plans for the day to take me in. I ordered a beautiful wig which should be arriving this week. In the meantime, some of you have seen me sporting my new scarf and hats. It's taking a while to adjust to my new look, and I still have a hard time looking in the mirror without a hat/scarf on. The kids actually adjusted pretty quickly and just said that I "look like a boy!"
The heavy chemo week (two Fridays ago) left me pretty nauseous/tired all week. But this week so far has been okay after the lighter chemo last Friday.
We were so grateful that Saturday was a beautiful day, so I was able to get out and transplant my fall mums out of their pots and into the garden. I was grateful that the new sitters I've hired are adjusted to the kids, allowing me time to rest when I need it, or take care of things on my To Do list (like transplanting our mums).
I also cannot forget to thank all of you who continue to cook, and send cards; all of which mean so much to me. For Thanksgiving there is no question we are grateful to the family who will be bringing Thanksgiving dinner over asking me not to make a thing! Although I promised I would make the kids their favorite "mom's potatoes".
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Unfortunately Anna was just sent home with "tummy issues". So we will be trying out our new pediatrician today to see if we can figure out what is going on with her tummy. Thankfully the sitter was already planning to come over today to take Andrew out, so it will just be me and Anna at the pedi office.
Time to go get the kiddos situated.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Warm hugs from me.
xoxo Renee
Saturday, November 10, 2012
Living your life healthfully
Here we are, 4th chemo done, where the 2nd cycle truly begins. The doctors were happy that my platelet counts never dropped, and everything remained where it should be, except even better then remaining where it was, my CA125 levels (blood tumor markers) have returned to "normal levels". All great news!
With all this I've been reading a lot about what it means to live "healthfully". One definition that I've come across, and added to a bit myself is below:
To live healthfully in body, mind, and spirit and make vibrant health a way of life, we
must incorporate the following:
* embrace a natural-foods raw vegan diet (as much as possible)
* get enough sleep
* use natural remedies as much as possible
* exercise frequently
* drink ample purified water
* keep stress levels down
* spend time in nature
* breathe deeply
* meditate on His word and invite Him to be part of your life
* cultivate an attitude of gratitude -offer thanksgiving for everything you have!!!
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Consider the above list, try to figure out what one change you can make in your life next week from the list above. The following week, choose one more thing and make the change. Even if it means just beginning to breath deeply. It is a start.
Love to you all,
Renee
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Musical notes...
Doing okay after Fridays treatment. Just tired. Managed to get to James soccer game, and decorate the house for Thanksgiving!
The ginger is working amazingly for my nausea.
Now time to enjoy a little acoustic guitar. Love seeing young adults creating music about their faith.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEkh_KxKao0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
The ginger is working amazingly for my nausea.
Now time to enjoy a little acoustic guitar. Love seeing young adults creating music about their faith.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEkh_KxKao0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
Sunday, October 28, 2012
What a journey
I'm not sure where to begin. It has been over a week since my last post, so forgive my absence. Do I begin with an explanation of how nauseous I was all week? How I had a great experience at a TCM doc with my first accupuncture experience? Do I start with the fact that Andrew swallowed a penny that was lodged in his esophogus who had to be taken by two ambulances to two hospitals to be poked and prodded all night until he could go in for surgery to get it removed (sending mom and dad into panic mode for 12 hours?) Oh and not to mention that Anna went "missing" while we were carting Andrew all over town to get this darn penny removed? Really? (And yes of course we found her). I could also throw in that yesterday I was "fortunate" enough to be able to go back to Brigham and Womens for another surgery on Saturday to remove the port which we believe was causing some excruciating pain?
Or do I begin by giving Thanks to Him for another absolutely stunning day here that we can enjoy before hurricane Sandy comes through our state?
Let's all begin by giving Thanks that we are here, healthy, able to take deep breaths to enjoy the crispness of Autumn. Look outside your window, or better yet, step outside your door/building and take it all in. I love this time of year.
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Now let's back up. Last weekend I felt pretty good, and then the nausea began around Monday of last week. It lasted until Wednesday when I decided it was time to go to the Traditional Chinese Medicine doc to get some herbs and acupuncture to see if it would get me out of my cycle. It worked, between the acupuncture and ginger root, I was feeling better by Thursday afternoon.
And then Andrew decided to swallow a penny. Mom runs to the phone and calls 911. The ambulance comes and takes us to Framingham Union hospital. And x-ray is done showing that it is lodged in his esophogus. Mom is freaking out. They say we have to go in town where there are more advanced teams who can deal with this. Mom freaks out even more. We wait for an ambulance to take us to Children's down town. They get us there by 10:00ish p.m. By midnight, they say there is no way they can get us any OR space to get it out. So they want to transfer us to the main floor (out of ER) where we will "sleep" until our 7:30 a.m. surgery. At 2:00a.m. they have to stick Andrew six, yes six times to get an IV in him. By then Mom sends Dad home to get the other kids up in the morning and ready for school and then to come back to the hospital after they are off to school.
I have to skip the story about Anna going missing now, as it is too much to have to relate. Rest assured she was fine, having fallen asleep at home under a pile of clothes in James room.
Back to Andrew - They get an IV in him and then they transfer us up to the main floor since he was "stable". He might have been, but Mom wasn't. As soon as they get us up there, Andrew throws up. Again, Mom freaks out. He was fine. So he falls asleep, while Mom watches him for two and a half hours until they come to get him for surgery.
As we are going down to pre-op at 6:30 a.m. I am thinking about my 8:00a.m. chemo appointment (just 1.5 hours away) just across the bridge at Dana Farber. Hmm...... The surgeon comes to talk to me. He calms me down and said that there was no reason for me to move my 8:00a.m. chemo, since Andrew will be in the OR, and then in the PACU recovering.
Friday, 7:30 a.m. - They take Andrew off to the OR, fast asleep, and then they wheel Mom across the bridge to my 8:00 a.m. chemo appointment. As Mom get's her chemo, I get a call saying that Andrew did well in surgery, and that the penny was safely extracted and that he was recovering nicely in the PACU. Dad had arrived having gotten the kids off to school, to take Andrew home. Andrew wakes up, happy as a clam as he gets to ingest as much ice cream and popsicles that he'd like. The blessing in all of this, he never had trouble breathing. The penny lodged itself perfectly up and down in the esophogus, not causing any problems.
My lovely neighbor, Selena came to the my chemo appointment to bring me home. We get home to find Andrew back to his self, and mom just relieved to be home.
Then a few other "angels" came over. One with lunch, one to help me clean up my home, and another with dinner and home made ice cream!
Where would I be without my "angels?" That night with the kids off to bed, we are just happy to be home and in our beds. I do believe I will sleep well as I hadn't slept the night before. You think that would be the case right? Well, the shoulder pain returns with a vengeance. I may have slept for a couple of hours and then I was up with some pretty excruciating pain. I call my surgeon at 7:00a.m. I tell him, of the extreme pain I'm having and wondering if it has to do with my chemo port. He agrees, that it could be that part of the port is hitting my diaphragm causing the pain. I ask him if there was any chance he could get me OR space that day to get the port out. He said it was highly unlikely, but he would try.
Blessing #2 in all of this, he got me OR space by 10:30 a.m that morning (Saturday). Even after two days of no sleep I was THRILLED and had so much energy! Once again, we shift the kids in multiple directions, and Nick get's me back to Brigham and Women to have the port surgically removed. As I sat in the pre-op room, I recounted yet another big blessing.
Blessing #3- I was surrounded in the pre-op room by 3 anesthesiologists, two nurses, my surgeon and his assistant. Just to have a port removed. In addition to the staff, I realized how incredibly blessed we are to be in a place where there are more than enough surgical supplies, medications, clean facilities, etc. to minister to our needs. How incredibly blessed are we? I remember reading a story how in Greece the supply shelves are empty, medications are hard to come by. How blessed are we? More then we'll ever know.
I come out of surgery feeling fine, and just plain happy that the port was gone. So happy. That night we even went to our churches dinner dance. Although we just went for the dinner portion. Greek dancing after surgery and two days with no sleep, just wasn't on the agenda. And that was okay. We were surrounded by friends and a lovely meal.
Last night I slept well. No shoulder pain, just a bit of pain from the incision. But manageable.
Today we spent a truly blessed day with the kids chasing the leaves as they were blowing off the trees. Raking them up and jumping in them. We picked out our pumpkin and even carved it today.
I need to once again to say THANK YOU to the multitude of "angels" who are supporting us through this journey. There is no way, I could be as strong as I am, if I didn't have your prayers and support.
I only ask that you take a moment as well, to realize the blessings in your lives. And to thank God, for those. Trust in His love for you. Trust in His abilities to carry you through any storm that comes your way. Put your lives in His hands. I know I have.
Love to you all,
Renee
--------------------------------------
Now let's back up. Last weekend I felt pretty good, and then the nausea began around Monday of last week. It lasted until Wednesday when I decided it was time to go to the Traditional Chinese Medicine doc to get some herbs and acupuncture to see if it would get me out of my cycle. It worked, between the acupuncture and ginger root, I was feeling better by Thursday afternoon.
And then Andrew decided to swallow a penny. Mom runs to the phone and calls 911. The ambulance comes and takes us to Framingham Union hospital. And x-ray is done showing that it is lodged in his esophogus. Mom is freaking out. They say we have to go in town where there are more advanced teams who can deal with this. Mom freaks out even more. We wait for an ambulance to take us to Children's down town. They get us there by 10:00ish p.m. By midnight, they say there is no way they can get us any OR space to get it out. So they want to transfer us to the main floor (out of ER) where we will "sleep" until our 7:30 a.m. surgery. At 2:00a.m. they have to stick Andrew six, yes six times to get an IV in him. By then Mom sends Dad home to get the other kids up in the morning and ready for school and then to come back to the hospital after they are off to school.
I have to skip the story about Anna going missing now, as it is too much to have to relate. Rest assured she was fine, having fallen asleep at home under a pile of clothes in James room.
Back to Andrew - They get an IV in him and then they transfer us up to the main floor since he was "stable". He might have been, but Mom wasn't. As soon as they get us up there, Andrew throws up. Again, Mom freaks out. He was fine. So he falls asleep, while Mom watches him for two and a half hours until they come to get him for surgery.
As we are going down to pre-op at 6:30 a.m. I am thinking about my 8:00a.m. chemo appointment (just 1.5 hours away) just across the bridge at Dana Farber. Hmm...... The surgeon comes to talk to me. He calms me down and said that there was no reason for me to move my 8:00a.m. chemo, since Andrew will be in the OR, and then in the PACU recovering.
Friday, 7:30 a.m. - They take Andrew off to the OR, fast asleep, and then they wheel Mom across the bridge to my 8:00 a.m. chemo appointment. As Mom get's her chemo, I get a call saying that Andrew did well in surgery, and that the penny was safely extracted and that he was recovering nicely in the PACU. Dad had arrived having gotten the kids off to school, to take Andrew home. Andrew wakes up, happy as a clam as he gets to ingest as much ice cream and popsicles that he'd like. The blessing in all of this, he never had trouble breathing. The penny lodged itself perfectly up and down in the esophogus, not causing any problems.
My lovely neighbor, Selena came to the my chemo appointment to bring me home. We get home to find Andrew back to his self, and mom just relieved to be home.
Then a few other "angels" came over. One with lunch, one to help me clean up my home, and another with dinner and home made ice cream!
Where would I be without my "angels?" That night with the kids off to bed, we are just happy to be home and in our beds. I do believe I will sleep well as I hadn't slept the night before. You think that would be the case right? Well, the shoulder pain returns with a vengeance. I may have slept for a couple of hours and then I was up with some pretty excruciating pain. I call my surgeon at 7:00a.m. I tell him, of the extreme pain I'm having and wondering if it has to do with my chemo port. He agrees, that it could be that part of the port is hitting my diaphragm causing the pain. I ask him if there was any chance he could get me OR space that day to get the port out. He said it was highly unlikely, but he would try.
Blessing #2 in all of this, he got me OR space by 10:30 a.m that morning (Saturday). Even after two days of no sleep I was THRILLED and had so much energy! Once again, we shift the kids in multiple directions, and Nick get's me back to Brigham and Women to have the port surgically removed. As I sat in the pre-op room, I recounted yet another big blessing.
Blessing #3- I was surrounded in the pre-op room by 3 anesthesiologists, two nurses, my surgeon and his assistant. Just to have a port removed. In addition to the staff, I realized how incredibly blessed we are to be in a place where there are more than enough surgical supplies, medications, clean facilities, etc. to minister to our needs. How incredibly blessed are we? I remember reading a story how in Greece the supply shelves are empty, medications are hard to come by. How blessed are we? More then we'll ever know.
I come out of surgery feeling fine, and just plain happy that the port was gone. So happy. That night we even went to our churches dinner dance. Although we just went for the dinner portion. Greek dancing after surgery and two days with no sleep, just wasn't on the agenda. And that was okay. We were surrounded by friends and a lovely meal.
Last night I slept well. No shoulder pain, just a bit of pain from the incision. But manageable.
Today we spent a truly blessed day with the kids chasing the leaves as they were blowing off the trees. Raking them up and jumping in them. We picked out our pumpkin and even carved it today.
I need to once again to say THANK YOU to the multitude of "angels" who are supporting us through this journey. There is no way, I could be as strong as I am, if I didn't have your prayers and support.
I only ask that you take a moment as well, to realize the blessings in your lives. And to thank God, for those. Trust in His love for you. Trust in His abilities to carry you through any storm that comes your way. Put your lives in His hands. I know I have.
Love to you all,
Renee
Friday, October 19, 2012
The Beginning
Today was my first day of chemotherapy. Chemo for me will be approx 18 weeks, at once a week. The doctors want to give me a round of chemo as an "insurance policy". I had my surgery to remove three masses on September 20th. One mass, surrounded one of my ovaries and the other two were found in my abdomen. The mass in my ovary was cancerous. Of the two masses in my abdomen, only one had a small nodule of cancer.
Blessing#1: All visible disease was removed on Sep 20th. ALL.
Blessing#2: Mine is a low grade cancer.
Blessing#3: It is also the most common kind of cancer. The kind that actually is attracted to the chemo drugs.
Usually when you hear ovarian cancer, the words "silent killer" might pop into your mind. And when I was in the ER room at Newton Wellsley hospital on Labor Day, and I heard the words ovarian cancer, I thought I might have two months to live. I know what ovarian cancer means, and the outcome is usually a more fearful one.
But this is where my Turning Point came. When I turned my life over to Him. I knew that I know longer was in control of my life. I have always felt in control and capable. But on Labor Day I knew it was out of my hands.
It was time to give my life to Him and let Him be in control. And when I did that, everything changed. Everything. I was given the 3 greatest blessings as noted above.
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I'm getting tired now, but I want to give you a data dump for the day today, my first day of chemo. First we got Anna and James ready for their exercise program that started at 7:30 am. at school From there, we went to Dana Farber Cancer institute. I had blood drawn through an IV that was placed at 8:30a.m. After that the fun began. Nick and I headed to the "wig"shop! I looked at a few different options of hair that looked similar to mine. And then I looked at some really cool pink and purple ones!
I realize this may sound funny, but I'm looking forward to possibly having a bald head! Nick and I will be bosom buddies. I don't have to have a heavy pony tail all day, and I simply don't have to do my hair regularly. Why not embrace it and have fun with it?!
I bought a few caps, including one for sleeping. My friend Chrissa who has Alopecia, has helped guide me a bit. She thought a sleeping cap would be a good idea for the winter months. She may come over at some point soon, to hang with the kids. She plans to take off her own wig, casually. This way the kids will have their first exposure to someone else.
The lady at the wig shop told me of a place in Florida that will take your existing hair and sew it into a nylon cap. Then all I do is throw a cap on and I'm done. Voila! Instant hair that was mine to begin with!
I will be exploring that option.
After that we met with the oncologist who went over the possible side effects of the drug. And then off to get the infusion. They weigh you a number of times and measure you to make sure they give you the right amount of the chemo.
I came in at a whopping 107lbs. Down 11 pounds from when this all began. And the bummer of it all is I can't engorge on refined sugar treats to bring my numbers back up! My no read meat, dairy or refined sugars diet, doesn't alot for many calories. So hopefully I can get through this without too much more weight loss
After the vitals were taken (for the 2nd time), I was taken to my private infusion room. They hooked me up with some Benadryl to try to minimize the reaction to the chemo drugs. While the infusion was going, I was talking with a social worker who gave me some great back packs for the kids filled with silly putty, markers, drawing pads, stuffed animal, and a book about having a parent with cancer. I took that out and will review it soon to see how were are going to share the info.
A woman came around with books to offer. Selena my neighbor recommended I read Pillars of the Earth the day before. Surprisingly enough when the book lady, Mary, came around I asked her if she had it on her book shelf and she did! She said in her 3 years of being the "book lady", that she has never had the specific books that people asked for. She was so happy to pass this off to me.
Then the food lady came by offering sandwiches, popcorn, fruit, cookies and water for free! It is not only free for the patient but also for anyone else in the room. So for those of you who will join me for an infusion, your lunch will be taken care of =)
The Benadryl made me sleepy during the infusion, and continues to do so, but other than that, I'm feeling great! I had no serious reaction to the drugs in the hospital.
Okay, I have to get the dinner on the table (compliments to Susan Lemeuix the chef for the evening) for the kids and then get them off to a birthday party.
Love to you all,
Renee
Blessing#1: All visible disease was removed on Sep 20th. ALL.
Blessing#2: Mine is a low grade cancer.
Blessing#3: It is also the most common kind of cancer. The kind that actually is attracted to the chemo drugs.
Usually when you hear ovarian cancer, the words "silent killer" might pop into your mind. And when I was in the ER room at Newton Wellsley hospital on Labor Day, and I heard the words ovarian cancer, I thought I might have two months to live. I know what ovarian cancer means, and the outcome is usually a more fearful one.
But this is where my Turning Point came. When I turned my life over to Him. I knew that I know longer was in control of my life. I have always felt in control and capable. But on Labor Day I knew it was out of my hands.
It was time to give my life to Him and let Him be in control. And when I did that, everything changed. Everything. I was given the 3 greatest blessings as noted above.
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I'm getting tired now, but I want to give you a data dump for the day today, my first day of chemo. First we got Anna and James ready for their exercise program that started at 7:30 am. at school From there, we went to Dana Farber Cancer institute. I had blood drawn through an IV that was placed at 8:30a.m. After that the fun began. Nick and I headed to the "wig"shop! I looked at a few different options of hair that looked similar to mine. And then I looked at some really cool pink and purple ones!
I realize this may sound funny, but I'm looking forward to possibly having a bald head! Nick and I will be bosom buddies. I don't have to have a heavy pony tail all day, and I simply don't have to do my hair regularly. Why not embrace it and have fun with it?!
I bought a few caps, including one for sleeping. My friend Chrissa who has Alopecia, has helped guide me a bit. She thought a sleeping cap would be a good idea for the winter months. She may come over at some point soon, to hang with the kids. She plans to take off her own wig, casually. This way the kids will have their first exposure to someone else.
The lady at the wig shop told me of a place in Florida that will take your existing hair and sew it into a nylon cap. Then all I do is throw a cap on and I'm done. Voila! Instant hair that was mine to begin with!
I will be exploring that option.
After that we met with the oncologist who went over the possible side effects of the drug. And then off to get the infusion. They weigh you a number of times and measure you to make sure they give you the right amount of the chemo.
I came in at a whopping 107lbs. Down 11 pounds from when this all began. And the bummer of it all is I can't engorge on refined sugar treats to bring my numbers back up! My no read meat, dairy or refined sugars diet, doesn't alot for many calories. So hopefully I can get through this without too much more weight loss
After the vitals were taken (for the 2nd time), I was taken to my private infusion room. They hooked me up with some Benadryl to try to minimize the reaction to the chemo drugs. While the infusion was going, I was talking with a social worker who gave me some great back packs for the kids filled with silly putty, markers, drawing pads, stuffed animal, and a book about having a parent with cancer. I took that out and will review it soon to see how were are going to share the info.
A woman came around with books to offer. Selena my neighbor recommended I read Pillars of the Earth the day before. Surprisingly enough when the book lady, Mary, came around I asked her if she had it on her book shelf and she did! She said in her 3 years of being the "book lady", that she has never had the specific books that people asked for. She was so happy to pass this off to me.
Then the food lady came by offering sandwiches, popcorn, fruit, cookies and water for free! It is not only free for the patient but also for anyone else in the room. So for those of you who will join me for an infusion, your lunch will be taken care of =)
The Benadryl made me sleepy during the infusion, and continues to do so, but other than that, I'm feeling great! I had no serious reaction to the drugs in the hospital.
Okay, I have to get the dinner on the table (compliments to Susan Lemeuix the chef for the evening) for the kids and then get them off to a birthday party.
Love to you all,
Renee
My Tourning Point
A Journey of Faith and Hope
"Zoe" - Life- An amazing gift that we have been given. A life that is ours to choose how we live it whether we invite God into our lives to guide us or not. It is ours to live. At times, lives are taken, many of us may think prematurely. But I'm learning that there is reasons for physical death. As hard as it is for us to accept when a young mother passes on, the reason for her death, may be for healing. We have to accept that, and if we choose to ask God into our lives, we have to accept and THANK him for whatever we are introduced to in our journey.
That is what I'm learning. When our eldest daughter Anna was born with Down syndrome, we knew she was given to us as a gift. A gift that would teach us many of the principals that we are asked to live by. Compassion, Love, Hope and Humility. We know that she has not only affected our family, but also many other families that surround us.
I'm learning also to thank God for allowing the ovarian cancer which I was diagnosed with recently. Why would I thank God for allowing the cancer? Why? Because it has completely changed my life. My intentions. My love. My hope. My hope for everyone that is affected by this and who care.
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